Home is WHERE????

Home is WHERE???

So for the past few days I have been in a bit of a quandry....I have a full time job hours are 9-530 so I dont get home until 6. I dont see my kids much and am pretty tired when I get home.

Ok tired is a lie, I am pissy, really pissy. I really am not happy with this job, I am trying to find the positives in it but its hard.

The week started with an email from a girlfriend (sounds strange I dont really have "girlfriends") who I spend a good amount of time with and she is onto awesome endeavors which I know that she will be amazing at but it made me really REALLY sad. Dont get me wrong I know it was time to not spend so much time and she is amazing and I can only hope to be as great as she is someday. BUT I am selfish and want to have her to myself more. I know she is there for me whenever I need her...well enough of that

Next I had to go to work for this ridiculous job where I listen to people complain all day long, possibly yell at me in another language (and expect me to understand) while i try to make sense of what they need. Its all good just not where I visioned myself to be after my College career....I have to remember the Lord has His time (whether you believe in God or not I do so deal with my reasoning)....time sucks.

So I ended up coming home and crying for an hour and going to sleep at 7pm and waking at 4 am this morning. What changed today?? Did I read scriptures? NO Did I pray? kind of  Did I think good thoughts? NO I went about the day and hoped for relief from the bit of sorrow i was feeling then ....some where in the afternoon today I got a text from my kid telling me she loved me. That text helped me through the day. I realized at that point that I am working for my kiddos and i need to suck it up.

I also got a text from another girlfriend(there is that word again) that said she wanted to hang out a bit more...and so it is...I have another work out buddy so I dont feel lazy about going to the gym.

I also got a text from my sister Sarah telling me " get off your ass and get to the gym or be forever resigned to the fact that you will be fat" (or something like that) I LOVE that girl...she knows me well enough to tell me how it is and that its important for me to deal and suck it up. OH and she told me I can bitch to the masses through this blog....kind of excited about that!!

When I got home i found my family sitting watching a movie and enjoying the time together. Its a strange movie about what I have no idea, but there was a scene where an arm got cut off..wish I had a recorder going...priceless....

So home is WHERE?? its where I want it to be when I want it to be....When I am feeling sad, when I am feeling sorry for myself, when I am at my lowest a simple text is all I need sometimes to focus and bring back the feeling of HOME.