Fascination Questions

There are a few very smart people I have met in my life who intrigue me. I am a general observer, watching what people do, how the operate, how they work, interaction...whatever you call it creepy you can call it that as well.

Since our move to Idaho, we have been in 5 wards. I have met men in all of those wards I want to sit and talk to for hours. Only in one have i been able too. A Bishop in one of my wards, let me interview him for a school project. I did not intend to discuss his life before Boy Scouts but we discussed a lot about his time in the military. He talked about some of the perilous situations he was in, he also showed me his very impressive resume. He discussed his feeling of retiring from the military and moving back to Idaho. I had spent quite a bit of time with him over a few years time within his office and at times when I needed guidance. He inspires me that I can become even more than I am now, I think of him often.

We moved to another ward and met another man whom I have already written about, he is in the military and has re-upped to protect our country and take care of his awesome wife. I love him so much he is a brother to my husband and it brings me great joy to see them together. They have been trough some very hard times together, times that would break any man. Those 2 together are making it through the latest trial together, it gives me great pride to know they are there for each other.

In yet another ward, I met someone else with healing hands. With such a gift we as a family can never repay his love and attention. His wife is just as glorious. They are a steady rock in our family even if we dont see them often. They have inspired my children to greatness.

There is a man in our ward who fascinates me. I dont know much about him but he teaches the Gospel Doctrine class. I do not know much about him but just listening to him speak in class I am completely enthralled by his class. He sends notes out each week, gives the scriptures an amazing view i have never seen before. He is an interesting man, he is very observant, I know he was in the military and worked for the church. I gave a talk last Sunday he was one of the first persons to tell me that he liked my talk, then said, "I am watching you" with his finger pointed at me. That made me interested and a bit scared...personally who wants someone watching them, or paying attention to what they do...I know he meant no harm, and in fact he had a bit of a smile on his face. He is a man of few words but the words he does say are important. I would love to sit down with him and just ask questions. Unfortunately that is rude....I know, I know your thinking to yourself  "Moira never stopped you before" Well as I am getting older I am learning that you dont have to rude to get what you want. There will be a time when I can....I have also learned that some people do not want to talk about their life...it may be too painful, too hard...or how about this none of my business....

Interesting, how we meet people in our life and we want to know about them. I am fascinated by people and the lives they live, how do they get here, what made them what they are? What about you what makes you what you are, would someone be fascinated by you? What has happened in your life that makes you stop, get on your knees, and beg for relief? How did you recover? did you recover....most of all could you teach someone else to recover? I have had so many ups and downs in my life that i need to write more about them. So be aware my blog from here on out may be tough to read, it may offend people (never really cared about that much). I need to put more out there so my kids know what is going on, so others can learn to rise up from ashes that consume. I love my friend who blogs all the time, i have learned so much about her, i love her deeply. She has become an inspiration for me, in more than one way. She is the reason i started a blog, one of the reasons i am so fascinated with people, plus she has an awesome accent.

So if you have any questions about me, you can go ahead and send them to me i will answer. I will also ask my kiddos what they want to know. So lets see what happens....maybe i will have some questions for you.

Presidents, Talks and Foos

So there is some interesting news in our life lately, 2 Sundays ago I got a new calling...Not too sure about it...or if I will do it justice...A calling is when the Bishop of the ward requests you to do something particular. Some people are teachers, some are create activities for everyone, some are greeters, there all kinds of "jobs" to do. In the Latter-day Saint church we have a woman who is over all of the Young Women in the ward ages 12-18ish. She has a couple of other women who help her and teaches the girls the joy of life and how to honor womanhood and become the best they can. Well apparently I am that leader. The Bishop asked me in about a paragraph or less to be the Young Womens President. I personally do not feel that I have much to give these girls, BUT i have to say they are some pretty cool girls. We met Sunday and they seem to really have a ton of great personalities. 

At the same time I was asked to give a talk. Nothing like being pulled in 2 directions....Its been quite a ride for the last 2 weeks. I am wondering what i have to teach these girls. I have been put in a strange position of responsibility and if you know me, you know I dont care much about that. I have some strong feelings about how things should be taught. I believe in open honesty and it may rub people the wrong way, we have such a chore working with the teens of today. They think we dont know what they are going through, or if they hide we will never know...I can see through all of the garbage. Mostly because I lived through that trash, I have been down out, ready to leave this world, I have been in a place where i felt so worthless I didnt think I could come back. 

Speaking of which I gave a talk on Sunday about feelings of worth, understanding love, and finding joy when in the depths of despair. About finding your path when you feel so worthless and knwoing that the Lord will guide you if you ask...if you just take the time to ask. It was one of the hardest talks I have ever given (glad I gave it when my parents were gone). There were many tears from me trying to make it through. I think my girls learned something new about me, my YW learned something about this weird lady and others who dont know me found out some information I did not want to give out. 

I am at a good place right now, its a hard place and i am tired. I dont know what direction to take yet. I am not sure I can make the best decisions. I am humbled to have been given such a charge. 

Shane at the same time, has been called as the Elders Quorum President. First question I wondered about was whether or not the beard would come off. The Stake President asked him if he would be a better EQ Pres without the beard. Shane stated he would do what the President asked of him. I think in that moment he really would have shaved if asked. Shane stated President I will follow you to the ends of the earth, do what you ask, and be devoted to the men i serve. President Lewis did not ask him to shave, he asked Shane to do his job. He gave Shane a charge to find for himself if it needed to come off. It is still there as of today...and I imagine for a while...There is much work to be done here. It is a ward in need of a bit of a push...i suppose a Shane Henrie push...those men better get ready.

It has been an exciting week or 2. Things are hard and will be even harder but I am thinking it may be good for us. By the way, i like to add in lyric from songs into my talks, this is the song i took from this time.  Video at the bottom of the lyrics. Somehow we all have to learn to walk again, find the signal that will get us where we need to be. We all have to do this over and over to make life work....

A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return

Learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin?

Do you remember the days?
We built these paper mountains
Then sat and watched them burn
I think I found my place
Can't you feel it growing stronger
Little conquerors

Learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Now, 
For the very first time
Don't you pay no mind
Set me free, again
To keep alive, a moment at a time
That's still inside, a whisper to a riot
The sacrifice, the knowing to survive
The first decline, another state of mind
I'm on my knees, I'm praying for a sign
Forever, whenever, I never wanna die

I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I'm on my knees, I never wanna die
I'm dancing on my grave
I'm running through the fire
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna leave
I'll never say goodbye
Forever, whenever
Forever, whenever

Nana, Papa and Johns Birthday

I saw one of my friends last night and she said...Moira you need to Blog more so I know what is going on, you live too far away....so here I am again writing the boring life of my family.

Not so boring, my parentals came this week to visit. They are from Florida and have driven around the world and back to come visit. Sally made donuts, cake (carrot and cheesecake), pot roast dinner, tacos for dinner, lunches for kids, stocked my fridge to the nth degree and much more. My dad hung out with my boys and started teaching Jake how to play guitar, talked about cars and did some other things. It was a long week but they have left as of today, in fact just a few minutes ago.

here they are all together and at some point those boys are going to pass their sister in size I am sure. They sure had a great time with their grandparents, they come about every 2 years and the kids love it. 

Bonus of this trip they are here on Johns birthday!

he asked for raspberry cheesecake and Nana delivered, he is 13, I found the 8 and 5 for a few cents at Walmart so there you have 13. It was a yummy desert.

He didnt ask for much but the 2 things he asked for he got. First he called his Aunt Sarah over a month ago to tell her he wanted the Jurassic Park series of movies...as usual she cannot say no and delivered....

He also asked for a puzzle similar to a rubics cube. He has already mastered the cube he has, so a more complex makes for a good time for him. Look at his face he is so excited. He is working on it right now.

I am thrilled that he is 13. He is a great kid who is only 2 merit badges away from his Eagle. It has been a long road with him and he sometimes still struggles but he works through it and finds a way to get past whatever is holding him back. On top of it all, he is smart, so smart. He also has some stinking big feet! size 9 mens shoes...here is to hoping he grows some.

Having my parents here, Nana filled the fridge (as usual) and Papa and the boys drooled over cars, made for a long week and Sunday afternoon everyone crashed on the floor. It was delightful to have time just to rest. 

Housewarming Come and SEE

One of the things I love about my husband is his ability to make things. I needed some hooks in my bathroom and sure enough he found away. My bathroom is small but now its much more fun to walk into. My shower is just beyond this one.....

He made this small cupboard as well. It is nice to have a place to put things now instead of on the counter. This was a surprise for me when i cam home from work. It was a joy to see. He is a good man who takes good care of me. 

On another note I love getting things in the post, I am terrible at returning the favor.  (so do not expect much from me,) My Aunt Iris has always been great at keeping in her loop. Oh I just love the cards that come from her. I am sure I have saved may of them through the years. They are in random places. This one means a lot to me considering we have waited so long for our own place. THe saddest part is that i may not ever see her or Uncle Ron again as England is far they are elderly and i do not have enough money saved as of yet. Iris is a big reason I wanted to start a blog. I wanted my extended family to know what was going on across the pond. I am not sure if they all read it, but its out there for them.....because they keep me connected to my mum...(by the way my Aunt makes these cards)

We have acquired a few new things over the past few weeks for our house. We were gifted a beautiful television for which I am grateful. I have always wanted one this size for my house. The folks that gave it to us are very kind and loving. We have also had some other things given to us which have made our house become a home. 

All that said if you read this you are invited to a Housewarming party on the 15th of August from 11-1. I wasnt sure if I really wanted to do one considering my family does not like that kind of thing, but I want everyone who has been behind us and carried us through the hard times to come and enjoy our home with us. I have posted this on Facebook...but please do not feel excluded....come and see us. Come enjoy our house. 

I hope you can find the time to drop by 3022 S Indiana Ave in Caldwell 83605. Oh and thanks for supporting us......

Lamenting, Soldiers, Compassion

I came home the other day and this is what I saw. There was much lamenting and sadness, although Laura had tried earlier to fix it Dad had to save the day. I am amazed by Shanes ability to repair, build, take apart, put together...all the things he can do. He is quite amazing. He has taken apart a deck and reused the wood to make tables and shelves in the garage. (Those pictures are coming). I was glad the Kitchen Aid got fixed cause the pictures to follow are what Laura does for us when the Kitchen Aid works.

That day she had made bread...oh she is really good at that and then she made more zucchini bread. That bread has carried us through most of the weekend. She is using half white, half wheat. Delicious...She is going to be an amazing mom. 

John has been working on his scouts and he made the delicious dinner. For his first try it was pretty great. It is a pork roast, potatoes, carrots and onions. He really made a delicious dinner. Sure it was cooked a bit too long and the fat was down instead of on top but hey, i am glad dinner was made. He is really working on his merit badges. His goal is to reach eagle scout by next year. I think he is almost there. He is a smart kid, tenderhearted, and lovable. Makes life an interesting place to have him around. 

On another note, below is a photo of our dear friend Kip Weybright. He decided to re-enlist in the Navy as a Medic. He is pretty amazing. We were invited to see him re-enlist. Unfortunately, his wife could not attend his big day as she was ill. So we showed up as his family. We ARE his family. Kip often introduces Shane as his brother. Shane does the same for him. 

Here is the family watching him and his men. My girls and boys were quite impressed by the formation and the importance of the moment. There is nothing quite like watching a group of men who have the utmost respect for Kip watch him re-enlist to be there for them. Everyone of them stopped to say thank you to him for being there. 

It was quite an honor to be there for Kip. We were all a bit emotional. Kips involvement in the Armed Services has been an inspiration for my boys. Kip will take the boys to the base just so they can climb on the tanks. The love him just like they love their dad. Kip doesnt roughhouse so much but he does talk to them straight about life. Kips wife Heather is an amazing woman as well. She has dealt with many physical issues in the past year which have brought her down a bit. It was nice to stand in for her. She has a contagious laugh and is really positive and the best part she loves my humor. 

I was talking to some folks the other day from work. I discovered that my children are quite different than others. I have some good kids. I dont have kids that are smart mouthed(well not without being funny), yell at me, are not grateful for things they have, play video games instead of work, not responsible. In any case, I thought of this quote i found. 

Are we hard on our kids. I think for a while we may have been, as we get older the punishments changed, we got softer, our children became more vocal and we learned how to discuss the world, religion, music and all other things to make them become more well rounded. Shane gives them what he has, I give them what I can. My boys can iron their own church clothes, make their own food from scratch, wash clothing, dry clothing(with a dryer and on the line) They can take care of themselves in all ways. My girls work, budget, drive, aspire to greatness....I am pretty glad about that. I am more glad they are not jerks. 

We have much more to learn as a family, but I like it the way it is now. I like that we are always growing and becoming stronger. I love that my children can show compassion to each other when it is needed. John and Makayla have been fighting illness for a week or so. I finally too them to the clinic. When Makayla had a breakdown John immediately got up walked over, hugged her and told her that she was going to be ok. These 2 kids have been through so many physical ailments they understand when going one step more is too much. I looked at him after and he had tears in his eyes, his compassion is overwhelming. 

So maybe we have done something right in all the years we have worked on our kids? Not sure but so far the fruits of our labors are shining through pretty well.The children have compassion and understanding for others not of our faith, include others who may be left out, give of their talents and time to whomever needs it. Sometimes at the detriment of themselves ( something we are working on). Not sure where we went on this path of life or how we got here but i am liking it. 

All of this pondering makes my head hurt, but I realize that I must be a good mother. This goes back to the idea that we all struggle with our own self worth. It is something I work on constantly, as I see the progression of my children it gives me a bit of joy. So the question is what about you makes you have good self worth? What about you to you feel makes you who YOU are? How do you find ways to be positive about yourself? as well as how does the joy come from that? Do you get joy from that? All things I still have to ponder...things I still have to work on.

Tough, Brilliant, Encouragement

I am always a bit surprised when someone randomly says "Hey I read your Blog". I wonder what do they think? do they think I am a weirdo? maybe I shouldnt have said whatever....oh the things that go through my head.  I also read other peoples blogs and think i should be more like so-and-so or I should be more spiritual. I wonder what people think sometimes as I get older I think that I want to be me.

This week at work has been a tough one. I have worked very long hours for the last few weeks (50+ hours). The company I work for is going through some huge changes and growth spurts. It is affecting everyone and some days almost too much to bear for some of us. I have to say I work with some of the most amazing people, they are resilient, ambitious, encouraging, kind... I could go on and on. The Medical Management side of the company is going to split into 2 teams one for the new company we just took on called JBS and the other will be for the plans we are already taking care of. We are doubling in size in a just a few months. I got chosen to be on the JBS team. This is not something I wanted, in fact I asked to please be on the "Originals" team because I am so comfortable with what I am doing. Here is the interesting part of the story (sorry this was so long getting too)

In a meeting with my team lead and the Director of Medical Management I was told that I am a leader, one to be groomed for the future, and get this Brilliant....Brilliant is a huge word...I do not see myself as brilliant. I am pretty smart. Apparently the Director has not had anyone come in and learn all that i have learned in such a short time, be successful, and still want more. I keep asking for more, I want to learn all the little aspects, why things are the way they are, how can we make processes easier, how can we train better to help those who are struggling to understand. I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment I have worked in the past few weeks helping to train the newbies. My ability to do all that I do must come from the years of Trivial Pursuit Genius Edition and Scrabble. I am not a good tester but as far as learning I put it in the vault and pull it out when I need it. I am still wrapping my head around the fact that I may be really smart. I have never felt that way, but I have never had a high....whatever i dont want to go into that.

The director and my lead have been great in guiding me to be more careful with the no filter I have in my head. I have been working hard to be careful of what I say. Those of you who really know me are aware of my NON Filter. I have a work persona that I have been using to make sure that my um...interesting Moira side stays in check.

I have to say that I have serious goals of where I want to be in 3 years with this company and I made those very well known, and to may astonishment they agreed with the path I wanted to take. In fact, the encouragement I was given has made me want to strive that much harder to achieve that goal. Today felt like a beginning when I was left in charge of the team for a short bit as both leads were in meetings. I also found that many were asking me for help. I found ways to answer questions, calm fears, give encouragement and yet still get my work done the best I could. The best part was having someone text me to thank me for the encouragement i gave her through the day. I dont recall doing it, apparently I did something! It is nice to have the validation but to know that I helped her is much more important. I knew her day was particularly difficult and frustrating. She is amazing and I am more grateful for her than she knows.

For all of this news I know that I get it all from my Heavenly Father. I pray daily to be guided to have someone in my path to help. I have been given such blessings in my life. Everyone may not believe in God like I do but for me, Heavenly Father is my guide and my help. He brings me to the path I need daily to accomplish all i need too. I think with the employment I have, the employer I have, my knowledge that Heavenly Father has given me all, I will be successful, I am smart, I am blessing others.

Even if it is just with a smile, a joke, a fix of the computer, or a back rub on a crappy day....I am worthy of all He gives me, Because I AM a Daughter of God and He loves me (even when I dont love myself)...What do you espouse to that gives you encouragement daily to be good to others? What is it that makes you feel blessed or encouraged? Whatever it is and I know you, it affects me in wonderful ways. Thank you for being who you are and loving me for me....Thank you

Kitchen, Boys, Caldwell

While all of the moving has been going on we have a new found joy of a kitchen. Kitchens are wonderful things they bring a family together. Laura has become an amazing cook and it is fun to see her enjoying life like that. She is creative anyway, but the food she makes is DELICIOUS. Here are some samples of what she makes 

Pies are yummy she has also made banana bread...i didnt get one piece not even a crumb but my house smelled wonderful.

She has also made dinners and they have been great too. Ok maybe there was one that i had to choke down...I mean choke down...it was salty but eh it was still a great effort. She is great at getting the house work done and making sure her brothers are on task. I am grateful for her. 

She is an amazing lady. 

Not to mention she is probably the most beautiful 15 year old I have ever had with that color hair. I mean seriously look at that girl She makes me smile. 

On to some other things. 

sometimes i take random photos of my boys when they are laying on my lap. Jake is so stunning sometimes. He has a New England dry humor that is funny and brings great joy into our home. Its funny because he says he cannot remember his time in Maine but he sure remembers Nana cooking. 

John had been at scout camp for a week and this morning I think his body was done. He has been working hard to recover since the beginning of the year from being around mold. For a kid whos lungs dont function as well as they should he has been quite the trooper. A few weeks ago he came down sick i was hoping he would be better by camp. I thought he was and he kept it at bay now he is home and sicker than he has been in a long time. He ended up staying home from church and sleeping and sweating out the sickness. 

****Sidebar  apparently whilst at camp he was walking down a trail paying attention to some squirrels, when all of a sudden wham! he got kicked by a momma deer! (now you would expect this from our family) Apparently he got between a momma and her baby so she let him have it. He was fine and put some ice on the spot. It is a story for the books...And welcome to our family. 

Life is getting back to normal in the Henrie home. Well i am not sure what normal is but apparently its coming. Shane and I went for a ride yesterday and it was lovely to see Caldwell, well the outskirts of Caldwell. There are spots where it is all farm fields and beautiful scenery with mountain ranges in the background, orchards and canals...it is so lovely.

My camera is not the greatest but there are fields of corn, wheat, sugar beets and other things including the Owhyee Mountains in the background. The sky was so beautiful. Shane never likes me asking him to stop for the photos but i want to remember what i saw. This definitely does not do it justice, dare i say it was magnificent. 

We have been blessed as a family to finally have a place that is ours. Our trials are still fresh in our minds, still tender, but we are finding ways to move forward and find joy. Find happiness in being a family again. We know there is much in store for us here. Do we miss people who are on the other side of Boise, yup i sure do. But it creates an extended family for us that gives me a warm spot in my heart.

Now that i am back on line and life is going to (hopefully) settle down i am hoping to write more. I am not that great at my journal writing so this is going to be it. Like or lump it people. Read it or dont

I dont really care just know that i am here....