Hair Surprise

Sometimes you go for a haircut and you come out with something you dont expect! This has happened to me a few times in my life. I usually dont freak out about hair cuts as I know it grows back and will probably be better than before. This time though, there was some freaking out. I knew from the first chop of the scissors this was going to be a problem....so i went from this

(of course this was a few months back and it was a bit longer)

Now I am as shocked as you and it is a bit weird. It is easy to work with and i can not wait for it to grow out. Now just waiting for the grow out process....It is not what i wanted. I had intended to have long layers to below my chin but I guess no need to cry about it. I feel old now, really old. The gay guy I work with says I look great so it is approved. I actually have to say that everyone I have seen likes it. I did have the one good friend who never lies to me say it was too short and when it grows out it will look a bit better. I am glad for friends like that. My sister gave me the same advice so its all good. Maybe i should put some color in it or some blond highlights so it doesnt look so bland. 

All that being said I love my new job in AmeriBen Medical Management as an Intake Coordinator. It is exciting to have the ability to help people with their medical issues and give them the help they need to get the procedures they need to get well. I am just beginning to learn things but I am excited to keep learning. 

I dont have any other quips or happiness today. Just straight forward stuff. Sorry about being boring this time around....maybe next time more news on the changing tides of the Henrie family??!!

Crappy, Happy, Snappy

I went out to start my van after work on Monday and strange noises started resounding from my engine....much sadness abounded and my frustration arose slightly. Then I started to drive home and ended up at the light at Eagle and Franklin. This was the beauty of the sunset over the side of the hill off in the distance. I was somewhat amazed at the beauty that shines sometimes through the crap of life. The colors of the sky were beautiful, I wanted to sit there for a while to watch everything change. Alas, the sounds from the engine begged me to go home.

As I arrived home Shane said there is a lifter in the engine probably not the best idea to drive it around too much. So now we are in a quandary...what to do? All of our money is tied up in an investment right now and we cant go a buy a car. One of our children came to us with the amount of money we needed for a car that we found on the internet and provided what was needed for us to purchase a car. We found a car for about $2000 that has really low mileage and will suffice for now. That child who sacrificed what was needed will be paid back, I am still in awe at the love and kindness that child had for us. So we have a car that will survive us for the next few years.

On a brighter note my girl turned 19. Sometimes I am surprised that I have a kid that old. She is lovely and wonderful. I am super proud of her with all of her craziness. She makes life happy at our house. She has become a wonderful young woman. (we are all praying for the return of her boy so she can calm down and move out!!)

She wanted New England Boiled Dinner so we had corned beef and cabbage, onions and carrots. OH MY GOODNESS it was so delicious. There was enough for 2 days such excitement in our house. Corned beef in Idaho is super ridiculous expensive which is frustrating. I wish we could have boiled dinnah more often would make for a nice night. 

on a better note Lauras hair is magnificent and amazing and often i play with it. this was our invention last sunday and I loved it. When she took it out it was all wavy and beautiful. Oh dont mind the boys in the background they seem to show up intermittently....

On a crappy note John has been sick for the past 4 days. The rental we live in has some issues and they are making John sicker than he has been in a long time. Today we decided that he needed to be outside in the fresh cool air for a bit for his lungs to clear up. Gratefully he doesn't have pneumonia but i am sure if we aren't diligent it will become worse and move to that. (I will explain more about the house we live in later.) In any case he had to have some x-rays and blood work done and it was a cool trip for him. he doesn't remember all of the other times mom had to take him as a little one and sit with him in the hospital while he was having treatments and such. I guess when you are 12 its awesome. Jake and Jill took good care of him while he was outside. They took him soup, cider and lots of blankets to keep  him at least warm. It was sweet to see Jake worry about him and take care of him. On Friday Brenda came home from work to sit with him so that John wouldn't be alone all day. We have some good kids.

On a better note I got a promotion to another part of the company. I will be working in the Intake section. Intake reviews special needs for patients who need surgeries and other special services. It is going to be great. Along with the move comes a raise and better hours. I am excited to move to another section and learn new things. I am a bit nervous about it but the ladies who work over there are amazing.

There are many more things going on but no announcements will be made at this point. Soon enough, just know that when you hear the news you will be shocked. Life is crappy but we have been finding some happiness within the crap. As usual, we have banded together and found ways to be happy and help each other out. I hope you are feeling the same in your life as well.....if not just remember 

Bras, Love and Kids

Bras are important i dont care what you think. In reality if I could go without one I would be happy but unfortunately not so much.

I have noticed lately the lack of bra correctness (thats a word right?) It makes me wonder if we need more education on the importance of under garments or learning to love ourselves. Take it as what you think but go get yourself fitted you may find a more comfortable existence awaits.

Now this is something I have had to deal with my girls oh and myself...I have two daughters with...eh em...small chests and one who seems to have taken everything from both sisters. 

On a better note Sundays have become so nice lately. A few weeks ago we had a new bishopric called in our ward. Unfortunately for the new bishop his last name is Watson. Well heres the thing my children are completely insane. We dont have cable and we watch a lot of movies. Sherlock with Robert Downey Jr is one of the family favorites...as well as BBC's Sherlock. Jake has a way of saying funny things....a while ago we were all hanging around as a family and out of no where he says "Lie down with me Watson" it was hysterical. That kid comes out with the funniest lines....Probably not a good thing to have our entire bench laughing at the new bishop...oh and he is a cop! Good times.

I have a few different notes to go to I know a few posts ago i was pretty harsh and I am what I am. It was nice to get some good feed back from people who know and love me. I enjoy having the feedback. Positive and negative it makes me a better person by far. A lovely lady came by my work the next night and gave me this 

who doesnt love chocolate and a diet coke and a huge hug from a fellow North Easterner?? (She is from Canada over where i am from Nova Scotia i believe I could be wrong but Canada never the less) She gave me hope and love that i needed. She is a joy in my life, we dont see each other much but when we do its so much fun (note to self make a date with Lara and girls)

My kids take my phone sometimes and decide that taking pictures are a good thing. I feel like if they put them there i can put them here so here are my children

notice how Laura always seems to evade the bad picture taking? i have to look hard an long to find one of her

and even then its not a bad one she just does not take bad photos....

John got some awards for Scouts and got a bunch of awards over the Christmas break he worked really hard and got 6 or so merit badges in turn i got these 

Plus he had to conduct the whole court of honor. He did an awesome job. I am terrible at taking pictures of that stuff as taking pictures in a church building is something i dont do. 

I am so happy to have the kids I have. I heard a quote today that the most important work I will ever do is in my home. Failure as a parent occurs when we as parents stop trying. I dont want to stop trying and not giving my children a safe haven to be in a place to have peace. Although they are crazy and wild they love each other. I have watched my kids support and love each other when nobody else would understand. 

That being said here are my kids minus Laura as usual

Overtime, Quitting and a Cure!

I haven't written in a while for a few reasons mostly because I have been working upwards of 55-60 hours a week for the last couple of weeks. I had an opportunity to work some overtime at Ameriben in the Medical Management side of the company. That side of the company is where people call to get precertification to have medical procedures done or therapies things like that. I was excited to learn something new! Always up for a challenge. Funny enough a position opened up in that department and I put in for it. I have had the first interview and waiting on info for the next interview. I hope I end up there. It is really a great place to be. I have been there for a few weeks so far and mostly I have helped to fold letters and do some correspondence for them. Ameriben has grown and they are feeling the growing pains. I should hopefully know soon.

I have also been working Bed Bath and Beyond....BUT

I finally gave my notice!!! after 7 almost 8 years there I am done....D O N E! I am so excited. Granted I only work on Saturday nights at this point it is still tiring. I just want to be home with my kids and hubs or maybe have an actual date night. Those seem to come few and far between. (Lurena is the Ops Manager at the store and very nice...but to give Brett my notice was...I cannot explain the joy...just sayin)

One other thing I want to write about. I kind of eluded to it in my last post. My Makayla Jayne has been struggling with headaches for the past 4 years. Some days she cannot get out of bed. Or she gets out of bed and has to go right back. We finally got her to see a Neurologist and we thought YAY finally some relief for her. I had no idea how bad the headaches were until we sat in the office with the dr and she started describing the pain. Pain levels are from a 1-10 she said she has been at a constant 7-10 for the past 4 years. I had no idea. There has been no reprieve for her except when she is sleeping. In fact there may have not been a reprieve then either as Laura tells me often she would awake in the night to calm Makayla and get her back to sleep. (Yes they share a room and a bed queen size of course) I felt like such a horrible mother. How could I have not known? Makayla has always had a high threshold for pain (labor will be a breeze for her!!!) but this is something I cannot comprehend. How to make it better??? Well the meds the dr wants her to take cost 100 bucks for 25mgs for one week supply and he wants her on 200mgs a day!! I may be terrible but I don't have the money for that as well as getting authorization from the insurance to do it has taken a terribly long time.....hold your horses there is an awesome end and no we don't need the money.....

Enter a lovely woman who has taken in my girls as her own being their Young Womans leader...her name is Darla and is she ever a saint. Week after week she would see Makayla close up and hug her and tell her its going to be ok. Week after week she would encourage and love on my girls... and me!
She came to me one sunday in tears and said the most wonderful words I could ever hear..."Michael (her husband) is a Naturopathic doctor who specializes in pain can he take Makayla and work on her?" UM YES, YES he can. Makayla was gone for an hour or more that afternoon and came home WITHOUT A HEADACHE!!! WITHOUT!!! we sat in wonder and disbelief that this had happened. The pupils of her eyes were wide and reactive and she was well rested and feeling the best she had ever felt...EVER!!!! We wanted to cry but that brings on a headache so we sat in wonder and I hugged her and said I was sorry I couldn't have helped her sooner.

So ya I get snippy and grumpy about moving to Meridian but I think I have found a reason we are here if only for a bit. Finding this man to help my girl has given me peace of mind. She is one of the greatest kids I could have ever asked for (well now that she is older)...Peace is a nice thing....

If you need this mans name please feel free to send me an email or a message and I will give his info out! He is so kind and loving I cant imagine the world without Darla and Michael!

JADED: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

***DISCLAIMER****
(you were warned with the title to read at your own risk so don't give me crap)

You know its hard for me to not be jaded. I have found in the last few weeks I am a jaded person...so then I looked it up and what did it say? 

Jaded adjective

1. dulled or satiated by overindulgence:

a jaded appetite.

2. worn out or wearied, as by overwork or overuse.

3. dissipated:

 

Some things I am jaded about include but not limited too:

1. DEATH
2. PHONES
3. DEATH
4. CHOCOLATE
5. PEOPLE
6. VOICES (just random ones)
7. DEATH
8. OTHER PEOPLES DRAMA (mostly because I have enough I cant care about yours too)

 

As you notice I have a few things which are making me annoyed one being DEATH.

I feel like I have to be careful what I write. I know there is someone out there right now saying "here goes Moira so insensitive and rude" but you know what I am 41 years old. I feel like I have seen enough death and sadness in my life I have an opinion and I want to say it.

 

Death is hard, death sucks, death can suck all of your soul out of you and make you feel dead even though you are alive and trying to make life a good place. At the same time it changes you for the better... for good. But frankly I don't want to hear about your trial with it. I have worked very hard over the past year to be more understanding of a loved one and her take on death. There can be joy in death, a sweet release of the soul after tortuous pain, but I cant see joy in the death of a child. Don't tell me Christ loves me or loves her. I know he does but that sucks for my sister...she just wants her baby back. Don't tell me how I should be happy and you think social media should be a place of positivity...I don't feel positive some days. Hell most days I am grateful I can make it through a day and get home to see my kids and hope that their day hasn't been a train wreck.

 

The trials of life suck in a huge way, how do I hide? well do I hide?? hell ya I do, this week I took my beautiful daughter to a specialist and found out how much she has suffered over the past 2 years. I was telling a friend of mine at work what a horrible mother I was because I didn't even see it! I do not wish death on anyone but on myself gladly. How could I have not known? We do all the "right" LDS things Family Home Evening, scripture reading, church, callings, all the regular bull....but here in front of my eyes is my daughter suffering in silence. Of course she says its not a big deal but I could crawl under a rock and die from being horrible. This morning as I looked at her rolled in a ball in her bed I thought of the people who say just be happy, just rejoice, be positive...well hell with you and your crap. you come and see her suffer in such a tortious way and tell me to be happy.

 

Don't hide yourself behind all of your happiness (which I don't believe) and tell me to do something when reality is hard HARD. The past 3 years of my life have been so hard I wonder sometimes why I am still here. I cant just pick up my kids and go on a vacation to make things "glorious" or even have a break from the trials which have come our way. I feel in a way there has been a death in our lives and it was our actual life. We don't travel and loose ourselves in God's nature because we don't have the gas to make it to work barely. We don't do things with our kids cause it takes a large amount of planning and money to do anything with 5 children. I take that back we do things but often its because we are serving someone else at the same time. Usually we do pig roasts together or smoke food for others...whatever in any case I am not there as I have spent a large amount of my time working 2 jobs for the last 8 or 9 months....

 

ohhh sure you are thinking how ungrateful and bitchy is she, ungrateful no wonder she feels that way she isn't doing all she should be doing or whatever Mormons say to make you feel even crappier than you are...well screw that crap. Life is disgustingly hard and frustrating. If you have to know I come to work smiling and help everyone I can, I read my scriptures, say my prayers, spend time with my children (who I think are a priority over the temple). I have a drawer of chocolate that I share with the most beautiful women I have the pleasure to keep company with.

 

Are there positive things happening YUP there are ( I am banned from blogging about them for a bit Shane has final say on this big news)...but sometimes I am so tired. Sure would money make this time better? Hell yes, but it doesn't fix the issues...I just want some peace....again reminder am doing all the "peace" stuff but its never there...turmoil, strife...whatever you call it but I have learned to live with it.

 

I guess what it comes down to is that Facebook friends are going to be deleted cause I don't give a crap about what you think...there will be a fair amount who stay but some of you I just don't care any more...I am doing the best I can here, and hanging on by my fingertips is really getting old.

 

Enough of that mess...I may have lied about being jaded about chocolate...just sayin

 

Prime Rib, Christmas, Love

Christmas has come and gone as well as the old year. I am slacking in the blogging but i get so busy and I have been sick as well....hmmm sickness and I are like close friends except i dont like sickness...

I am sure you all wanted to know how the prime rib turned out....well it was AUH MAZ ING

Getting it prepped...butter on the sides and pepper onion powder and garlic powder on the top

So 450 temp for 30 mins then down to 275 for the next few hours and we (Me, Laura and Makayla) took turns basting it...delicious

You have to see both sides....then we let it sit for 30 mins before cutting into it....

I didnt take any pictures of our dinner because we were all so shocked at the dinner. I even teared up a bit in thankfulness for those who thought so much of us to give us something so wonderful. We had mashed potatoes and gravy (made from the drippings) and some corn. It was so wonderful. I think the kids just looked at it for 5 mins and talked about how great it was to have it. Then we said prayer and thanked Heavenly Father for the men who provided for us. The prayer was one of the sweetest I have ever heard from my boy...must be doing something right i guess...

BEFORE all of that was Christmas...i got a few picts but we had a low key one. 

My kids have a special aunt who takes really good care of them. Every year she begs and pleads for a list from my kids, to no avail, this year there was an actual list...The kids got some stuff on the list, I think they were pleasantly surprised.

Jake got his first shot gun from his dad, this is big news people. Means that Jake is finally in the ranks of the older siblings and can go hunting next year! He is so excited.

My panorama try was not very successful but eh...its what you get.

as a family we exchange names and you have to give something you can do or love to someone else...Jake got the shot gun from dad, Dad got a coupon book from Jake (he made it all up by himself)

He also gathered money from his siblings so Shane and I could go on a date. Super cute! Well manly i guess he said he is manly now. 

Brenda gave John the gift of music she went through her music with him and filled an ipod so he could have some of his own music. It was nice to see them finding common ground. Makayla gave me a drawing and some chocolate, Laura gave Makalya an ornament she made in class...I gave Brenda a ring I have worn since she was born. Shane bought me a ring after Brenda was born made of Black Hills Gold with a little tiny diamond in it. When she was 10 she asked if she could have it I told her when she gets older...Well this was the year...she was thoroughly surprised i gave to her and even teared up a bit. It has been tough the past week or 2 not having that ring on, but i know she loves it...

The kids got a ton of movies this year 

Note that Brenda is excited about the Twilight series which she bought for herself and I wrapped and kindly told her she was gay for needing it.....just saying we had to watch ALLLLLL of them...all of them

John got a watch he wanted so bad and a Transformer but i think his watch had his eye for a while, Jake is messing with his Transformer....

I didnt get many pictures of the girls but they were thrilled to get some new things. The men who gave us all of the meat also gave each child a gift card to Walmart. It was a surprise to the kids but they were certainly very grateful. I am often in awe of my kids. They are so grateful and happy for anything they receive. They told their dad to go to work and thank the men who brought them things and asked if there was anything they could do for those men. The kids I have are so charitable and loving. 

As we pondered on our year before we actually opened gifts we had a prayer and in the prayer Makalya asked for Heavenly Fathers love to surround my sister and her family because of the loss of her small baby. I was so touched that she would think that much of her Aunt Eileen. That on a day that gifts would be given my children thought enough to send love, thoughts and prayers to my sister who is still reeling from the loss of her sweet Rosie. I specifically remember her saying to let Eileen and her family know how much we love them and hope for a better year for them. 

The true grace of God is watching my children grow into awesome human beings. Knowing that all of the mistakes i have made (and repented for) ARE in the past. We together have created children who love their family where ever they are and whatever they believe and want only for them to know of the love they have for them. 

It was a blessed Christmas, a great time to be with my children and rest...just rest...On to another year.

What Brenda SPEECHLESS??? Yes people...read on

Sometimes we are blessed more than we think. I cannot remember the last time we had any kind of beef in our house. Some people who know our family have given us a gift which we were so surprised by...even Brenda was speechless....

Now anyone who knows our family to have Brenda speechless for any amount of time is like a blessing in disguise. Seriously that girl never shuts up. Whoever marries her is going to have to have some ear plugs or something. If she isnt singing she is shouting or being Obessive Compulsive about something...there is always music going and usually i ask her to be quiet. Heaven knows i love the girl but seriously...just one day quiet would be nice...

Any way back to my story

That big hunk of meat in the back is actually a Prime Rib!!  PRIME FREAKING RIB MAN!!! (Rachelle I expect T to be very jealous) the one in front is a roast....what you want to see more???

There is another roast right there...this is beautiful RED meat that is from a COW!!! this COW meat has made all of my children sigh with great amounts of joy and happiness....

This my friends is London Broil steak....STEAK...ok i know i am yelling (via caps lock) but this is something to yell about. 

Now I have no idea who these "guys" are but Shane apparently works with them. They also gave him a gift for the kids which they dont know about yet and a gift card to the grocery store in case they "forgot" something...

There are potatoes and i forgot some of these because Shane didnt get to go on his Buffalo hunt this year....

Our kids are excited to have fries and burgers. Not to mention Shane. These men who provided us with such a gift are not members of our faith, in fact i dont think they are of any faith. They just saw a  man who works hard, loves his family, sacrifices for others and thought he deserved something special. One of these men has been to visit our family and loves our children (we must be doing something right)! They tell Shane all of the time how impressed they are with us raising our kids the way we do. I cannot wait to give them the other gift these men have given each one...(yes this means there will be a christmas post). 

All in all these last 2 years have been some of the most stressful. We have gained so many friends in our journey to where we are. Heavenly Father watches over us in many ways. Sometimes I get so frustrated, why cant we just make it through this trial? then its why does this one have to come now? I can only hope my children do not have to go through all that we have in the last 15 years of our marriage. Surely we have taken all of the trials for them (at least it feels like it) and they can thrive with their spouses and maybe throw us a bone every once in a while. 

What would make these men think to do something for our family? I guess I have an idea but in reality I do not feel worthy to have such a bestowal of gifts upon us. Sure its food but the last time we had any kind of beef in our house was about 5 years ago. The joy on my children's faces is something I cannot explain. I guess going without is not a bad thing really, you learn the joy of receiving, and how to give when it is time. 

Merry Christmas people, and if you have enough, go give it away, you may be bringing joy to someone who has gone without for a long time....the joy is boundless...and you will get more than you give.....

Now onto Buffalo Burgers and fries for dinner......