Chocolate Hand Prints, Unicorn Poo, Makaylas Birthday

I havent found much reason to write, then i realized my family reads this and i should do an update. 

This is what happens when Grandmama gives grandson chocolate and lets him run. 

How can you not love every minute of this bub??? Delicious

I have a sweet friend at work named Hope. When I told Jake about her, daily for a week he would give me this face and then ask if my friend was Hope-less, so i started sending her the photo. She always replied i am Hope Floats. Jake is my sweet boy. He is always so kind and understanding. By the way this kid also gets accolades at school and doesnt tell us. He is a humble kid.

A grandson looking up at his Grandpappy just wondering...

Sometimes i get all of my kids in one room its nice to have them all together. Over the next few years it will be touch and go when they can all be together. Laura is in the last stages of getting all of her mission stuff accomplished before she goes to the temple and puts in her papers to the Church. 

Speaking of that, Laura has worked herself to the bone to save enough money for her mission. She has saved every penny to pay for her entire mission in one go. Gratefully she is a bit early so there will be money left to do her clothing etc she will need. She turns 19 in March 2019, so we are waiting until we have the chance to put in her papers. So for 18 months she will be serving the Church and we will have minimal contact with her. She seems excited to start on this journey but i am sure she is more nervous than anything. 

A girlfriend at work saw my little piggy on my desk, if you squeeze it there is poop coming out, so she sent out for little unicorns. She bought enough for everyone on our team. It was a fun toy, its nice to have on days when i am stressed. 

Speaking of my job...there have been some changes. I am still working in the same building just moved to another team. Have you ever felt so blindsided you wonder what the heck you are doing. This happened to me at work about a week ago. Some of my goals and aspirations which i let my leadership know about i was told i could not achieve them. As i look back i realize the person talking to me was under a lot of stress. I am trying to not think badly or feel badly about things, as it is not necessary to keep dwelling on it. But there are moments when i just want to scream. Gratefully i am reminded daily of my goals and what i want to achieve. My family is super supportive and kind, i love them for all they do for me. As for my job it will all work out the way it should. Sometimes we go through the crap to get what we want. 

Over the Thanksgiving break my sweet family spent 4 days smoking meat. We quite a bit of it, most of it was to help Laura with her mission. It was hard work, they were all up day and night to just get everything done. On the Friday after Thanksgiving, they cooked for all of the singles in our ward. Singles meaning anyone age 18 to whatever, so this included widows/widowers. They did an amazing job. I am so proud of them. It was a rough week and they all paid for it on the weekend. I find it quite amazing they are all willing to work together to support Laura in her journey. Makes a mums heart happy. 

Within all this time Makayla turned 20. I cannot believe it. She has some wonderful plans over the next year that i will talk about later when things are set in stone. She has worked so hard to be the woman she is, i could not be a prouder mother. 

She wanted smoked pork and mac and cheese. We gave her cereal as well, she didnt  want anything chocolate either. Next time you are in a grocery see how many ice cream brands you can find that are NOT chocolate. It took us a while and only Strawberry. Good thing she likes Strawberries. She is an amazing girl if you dont know her you should. 

I have found lately i have had some pretty low days. I had a friend remind me about this saying the other day. She is a great friend. So for the last week i have run this through my head to remind me of who i am. I am a daughter of God and its nice to know i am always being watched over. Life is sometimes a tough road, work is tough, family is difficult, working through issues, finding ways to be happy when you are downtrodden...i know there are others out there who think of me as well. I am surprised by the messages i have received over the last week. The best things happen when you least expect it. I am grateful that I have a God who loves me and watches over me. He sends those in my path who can make me smile, who can drop a message, whatever it is, i will make it through. 

Which brings me to a question....what do you do when you are feeling defeated. When you feel like you cant take another step. Whatever it is I hope you find your way out of the darkness, frustration, defeatedness....whatever it is. Dont forget to share  yourself with others when you feel better. That may be the day when that person needs it the most, when we give it comes back.

Now onto Christmas............

45, concert, Hocus Pocus

I was telling someone about my blog the other day and then i realized i havent written in a while. Not sure that i have much to write about but i do have some photos of what has been happening around here.

Shane and I both turned 45 this year. I made him this very sad looking german chocolate cake. Took me a long time to make it and then the cakes were not flat, the frosting was runny, and it was warm so it just melted. Not a great looking cake but delicious...

Sweet Axel was over for my birthday dinner. He is a big boy now sitting on 2 big books at the table. he loved eating my cake and mostly the candle. He certainly is growing...more on him later.

When my kids found out Def Leppard and Journey were coming we got some tickets to go. The kids surprised me and brought them to work, so i have been waiting months to go. Jake had the best time, he is my 80's metal head. It was a great time. Journey was ok but i would rather not see them again. Jake said, this isnt Journey, they dont sound right. Funny he didnt realize the lead is not Steve Perry.  They also learned that drinking is not really the best way to go. There was a lot of drinking going on and the kids decided spending money on that stuff was dumb. They are pretty good kids, I hope they can make great decisions in the future. 

Jake is super short, we borrowed a canoe so we had 2 to go hunting. YES everyone i went on a hunting trip with the boys and Shane. This photo makes me laugh, Jake cannot get the canoe up over the side. Upon more struggle it worked out, but my boys are brick house shitter size...eh whatever

John tired after a day of hunting

I thought a photo of the area we were camping. It was so lovely and the weather was great. It was crap hiking to this area, but it was good for me. There wasnt much game around this area which sucked so we packed up and went home but not before Jake got a bird and we had to eat it.

 The area we were at was super beautiful. It was a nice trip. We ended up coming home early, but we got to have Axel for a while.

And he was tired on day one.....but after nap watching hunting shows with Grandpappy is the best.

He stopped in his tracks when the hunter on the show was stalking a deer. He watched until the hunter bagged the deer. Good times with Grandpappy.

My Jakob turned 14. I was thinking back on the day he was born, he was so small. I had been on bed rest for a long time and was at the end of my rope when he came along. Getting here was the worst process but he has been our greatest reward. He rounds out our family well, he makes us laugh, he is a smartass all the time. But he has a heart of gold, he loves with all he is and gives what he can to make people feel happy and loved. I am one lucky woman to have such a good son. Also he and John got a deer this year. They had my phone but didnt take any photos. They are good men i am proud of them.

On to other things, I detest Halloween, mostly think its a stupid holiday. Spending money on a costume i am only going to wear once....i just cant do it.  BUT this year i told my work mates i would dress up for them. Our small team has been struggling for a while with an obstacle that would make the daily work horrific, frankly. There were 4 of  us on the team, but one of us was difficult to work with, that person made every day a trial, every day the three of us who worked together would instant message each other positive things just so we could keep our heads up. The stress on us 3 was so palpable often we went home at the end of the day exhausted and by the end of the week our minds were so shot it was difficult to end the week. SOOOO i figured to help my girls on my team i would do it. We are the Sanderson Sisters from Hocus Pocus. 

AND we won a costume contest for best group costume. Now that photo is about the only one of me that i have had taken since my weight loss. The below photo is of me at Brendas wedding 2 years ago 60+ pounds heavier. The shirt i am wearing is a peasant shirt so its baggy but the size of the skirt is 4 sizes smaller than the dress i wore at the wedding (just tootin my horn a bit cause i should)

  

I am not great at selfies, but this was the morning before i left, i suppose i am smaller. good good...

I cant let November go without saying how much i love my siblings. I love Mal. I certainly miss him, I dont talk to my siblings enough, we have lives but i know they are there for me. I am grateful my mum decided he needed to come to be in our family. 

Nothing says happiness like chocolate after Halloween, especially when you arent quite 2. Nothing says gratefulness like seeing chocolate hand prints in your house.

And last but not least I am so grateful for this guy. I cant say anything that wont bring me to tears, our years have been hard, frustrating, sad, maddening, but we are here. I am so happy to have him to spend my life with. I took this today as we were driving to get some groceries, just sitting with him going for a ride is one of the best parts of being with him.