Jake is driving, Canning is crap, Baby bumps are beautiful

As we all journey through life do you ever wonder why the trials sometimes seem insurmountable? You are on a hike and the side of the mountain is smooth then steep. So steep you are at an angle and you are trying to keep going? A point comes in the hike and you are out of breath and the mountain sort of tapers off and you can walk upright, slowly and catch your breath. So you walk along for a while, sometimes a long while...but the inclines come again. How do you make it through those difficult times, when you are out of breath, huffing and puffing up the hill, legs burning, back aching, sweat dripping in your eyes...what do you do? I would like to say that I cry to my Heavenly Father and beg for relief, but lets be honest sometimes that doesn't happen. I wallow in pity and sorrow, I cry and wail, scream (in my mind, well sometimes in the open), I hide under my covers, sometimes pretend to sleep a lot (so i do not have to face people). So what brings me out of the depths of despair? A myriad of things, but overall one thing that does this is....laughter. When I can find a reason to laugh, i start finding more reasons to laugh, with the people i love, with my coworkers, with my friends. I have a friend that i go to dinner with once or twice a month. Sometimes we cancel because things come up, but we always find time to go together and we laugh for hours. Sometimes we have serious talks but overall we laugh. I have a coworker who i can say anything too and laughter soon becomes part of our discussions daily. This particular friend struggles with anxiety and depression so we lean on each other sometimes when we are down. Sure we complain to each other but it soon turns into laughter. Makayla Jake and John give me great reason to laugh. Not to say that Laura and Brenda do not but they are more serious than those 3. Laura and Brenda definitely have a different humor...This laughter then turns me back to talking with the Lord and pulling myself out of the depression/anxiety/frustration whatever it is that pulls me down. So again what do you do? What brings you through the trials...i ask cause i need ideas...i need inspiration.....So let me know.

On to other things...............This boy is learning to drive. My baby is driving, i thought i would be sad but i am not. I am excited for him to grow and become more and have adventures.

One day I came home from work and the recliner we had was replaced by an exercise bike. This bike gets used almost daily, when we are talking as a family, watching tv...or just being used. I am glad we have it in our faces all the time now. 

I took a day off to do some canning. Shane decided to pick up 400 lbs of pears. Yes i said 400lbs. It took all day with Brendas help and 3 canners going. Let me tell you I was achy and tired after that day. We ended up with 181 quarts which was great. Brenda came down to help but i am sure she was more achy and tired than i was.

Then we got 200 lbs of peaches. We ended up with 82 quarts out of that batch. My girls are amazing. They jump in and do what needs to be done. Laura has been canning about 16 quarts of tomatoes every week for 4 weeks, we then decided to start picking and giving away. Sweet ladies in the ward who we know can use them are always very grateful when we give them 2 baskets or a box of tomatoes. 

This is a partial photo of our pumpkins this year. They are insane and have gown like crazy. Some of them have been chewed on a bit by the family of mice or moles in the garden, they have had some good dinners for sure! We have a lot and we are hoping to make the money we did last year for the boys missions. 

Last but not least my girl, she makes my eyes sweaty sometimes. The work of pregnancy is so hard, so very taxing and frustrating. This photo was at the end of August.

These photos were mid September!! Skyler decided to learn how to take photos. I am sure to have some photos that he does not have to pay for! Anyway this is what he did for Brenda. My girl is making another baby and i am so proud of her.  We cannot wait to meet our new grandie, i just want Brenda to be well coming through it. I want for this baby to be strong and healthy. 

I mean my goodness..........LOOK AT THIS. They are a great little family....next ones need to include Axel!

So i ask you again....what do you turn to when you are in the depths of trial and tribulation? I turn to laughter, beauty in my family, joy in my children...most of all i turn to my husband. We have not had it easy, the last few years have been particularly difficult however those difficulties have created an new marriage with us. More connected, more laughter, more time together...something more heavenly and peaceful. 

And for a bit of laughter, Jake loves Elder Holland...so this one makes us laugh all the time...For my Latter-day Saint friends you may find this humorous. Jeffrey R. Holland is an Apostle in our church. He is a very learned man and quite to the point and blunt. The boys love his words. If you ever want something inspiring to hear, listen to him speak you can find him on youtube. 

Friends, Johns Birthday, Mothers ring

I was sitting I church thinking about a time when we first moved to Idaho. There was a man in our ward who’s profession was a tailor. He made the most beautiful clothing. One day he asked Shane and I if he could come to our house. Of course we said yes. This man is gregarious and open and so very kind. He brought over his shoe shining kit and shined all of our Sunday shoes. Often I think of that gesture of humble kindness show to our struggling family in an somewhat affluent ward. We were certainly out of place as we had just moved from the back woods of Maine to the city of Boise. Oddly enough I cannot remember his name but I can see his smile in my mind.

This makes me think of all of the kindnesses done for our family over the years. I am overwhelmed by the pure love of Christ shown to us. This week has been a difficult one at work. Which them makes it difficult at home as I was very tired. I have a wonderful friend who checks on me and often I will send a message to her just complaining. She always responds with the flat out truth. She told me it sucks but you are going to make it through. Yesterday she brought me a rose bush and planted it in one of my planter pots. She also brought a bowl of fresh raspberries.  I was not home as Shane and I had another appointment with some good friends who we have dinner with once a month. This dinner was very needed and it was wonderful to have the outlet of good friends. These great friends sent us home with delicious cake. (Which my boys scarfed). On the way home my girls Brenda and Makayla said hey let’s go out for ice cream date. So Dairy Queen had a visit from us. I ponder on how I am watched over...even when I am down and out. There are always people to pick us up.

Laura had been working hard on her mission. The times with the companion she had have been a bit difficult. She was learning to be kind and understanding. These are things she has learned from her family but it is a whole different issue when you are placed with another woman you do not know. I know she has worked very hard to overcome herself and serve the Lord the best she can. She has had much success with finding people and working them towards baptism. However there has been much disappointment also. The biggest disappointment I think for her was coming home early. I stopped blogging and doing anything with Facebook. I also limited the information I have been putting on Instagram. I wanted Laura to figure out her issues and find strength in herself before I said anything. She came home early, not our deal, its hers. A friend put on Instagram the other day about kids doing hard things. This friend said the hard things make them better people. Stronger and more able to care for themselves instead of hanging on to your parents. Lauras decisions are her own and I am not going to comment on what any of the issues were. I will not lie it was terribly difficult for me to wrap my head around, I cried a lot...maybe had a few times when i wailed and screamed and cried (I may have woken up children during my wailing). There has been such good guidance from some of our leaders. I think Shane and I have learned a new form of compassion and understanding. However as parents we have to let our adult children do what they need to do for their own lives.

On to more wonderful things. Or some other things...photos are coming:

Makayla picked me up from work one day, we went shopping for crap and talked about everything. Makayla is at a turning point in her life, school, full time job...where to go next what to do. She is making such great choices though. She is the most tender loving girl. I worry that someone will take advantage of her...i keep telling her to pay attention to her internal feelings and follow the promptings of the Spirit. She has so much coming up in her life but she is strong and smart and very capable of anything she wants to do.

I love having good friends. My sweet friend Cindy went with me to see the Piano Guys. The concert was okay, i was a bit disappointed in the showmanship of it but i am used to Foo Fighters. Cindy and I had a great time talking and working through the issues that are facing us. At the time it was just after Laura had come home and I was still working through all of my feelings. She has been patient and kind and given good advice. I love this woman more than she knows. What a strength and support you can get from those around you when you ask. 

This year my boy John turned 17...can you believe that 17. I was so afraid for this boy for so many years however he is growing up (tall almost as tall as his dad) and strong (just as strong as his dad really)  He wanted meatballs and spaghetti for his birthday. Really big meatballs is what he wanted...so I accommodated. 

For the past few years I have wanted a mothers ring. Shane is really good at surprising me. I am not a big fan of surprises but he likes them. I have a lot of words but none I can write. It has been a hard 24 years in this marriage. Many many ups and downs, more down than ups....also being very poor, money wise. Over the past 6 months there has been a slow pick up of financial security. Because of my job at Simplot we were able to pay down all of our debt (of which we did not have much) which just leaves our house. We have a goal to pay off our house in the next 4-5 years. It will be tight but worth it in the end. So one day this ring and flowers appeared at my work. The poor man at the front desk saw me cry, he was super sweet about it. All the ladies asked me to keep the flowers at work for a few days. So I did, they were lovely. My ring had to be sized but now its on my hand all the time. I love it. Sometimes the little things become big things and life is a nice place to be. 

I have not been that great at doing this blog lately. So much has been going on and a lot of it was things that were tough and I had to process. Often its best for me to just think on it and pray about it and find some peace in myself before sending it to the world. A couple of quotes came to me during this time.

So i am working on being a good friend, sister, mother, wife....

So if you ever need anyone, i am here to chat...to help you work through your issues. I am not that great at it but i commiserate well....Someday the things i go through will help someone else.