Foo Fighters With John

One time John and I went to see the Foo Fighters. It was amazing, one of the best times ever. One of my sweet friends kindly gave Brenda 2 tickets for her baby shower. Unbeknownst to us Brendas sweet husband bought 2 tickets as well. So we had John earn the money to pay for one of the tickets (mostly to help out his sister and her family). Not to mention it is important for kids to work for what they want.

Anyway, as a bit of fun we had John earn the money then for his birthday we gifted the ticket to him and had him keep his money. He then put it in his mission fund. I sort of like that kid. I mean seriously 15 years old and he takes $80 and puts it in his mission fund when he could really go and do anything he wants with it. I know I say it a lot but my kids always surprise me. My boys are attached at the hip all the time. Sure they fight sometimes but mostly they just jab each other. I am most grateful the Heavenly Father saw fit to give us Jakob. I fear to see what Johns life would have been like without his brother. It surely brings joy to this mums heart.

here are my photos from the Foos with John.....

They arent in any particular order, he was enamored the entire concert. The original seats we were in had some people behind us who were sitting....literally SITTING DOWN, how does this happen when Dave Grohl comes on stage? I spotted a few seats closer to the stage area and moved us there along with Brenda and Skyler, we ended up together the entire concert. It was so much fun. Brenda and I screamed our heads off, Sky sang a long, and John stood there excited, too excited to speak or move or anything. 

He got some money to get a t-shirt and every once in a while he says to me "Mumma, remember that one time we went to see the Foo Fighters?" I just say "Yes buddy it was amazing". We did end up leaving early, they went off stage and they came back for an encore, we did not stay for the encore. I had already worked 40 hours and i was exhausted. 

Best time ever...with my boy...Foo Fighters, Probably will be my last concert though for a long while. It was amazing, but i am moving to other things. Probably will find other ways to find enjoyment. Glad Foos closed out my concert life.....but then never say never...

Mostly My Opinion

I have to tell you about on of the most glorious weekends of my married life. Happened a few weeks ago. Shane surprised me with flowers at work. They were so beautiful. I was having a particularly difficult day. (Work is another story in itself at this moment but i will come to that later) It was getting close to the anniversary of my mums death and I dont think i was handling life very well. Sometimes that happens you know, things just pile on and before you realize it BAM!!! you are crying at your desk and you want to strangle the next person who talks to you. So when I feel that way I know its time to just sit at my desk quietly, put my head down and work.

Now what comes next will tell you a bit of why I am leaving my current employment onto other places (if you work with me and are just finding this out I am sorry but it is what it is). The flowers were delivered in the midst of us changing cell phone carriers and so our phones were all on the fitz. I was trying to get a hold of Shane for some moral support, he called me back and was so sweet to me. I came in from the call (we have to walk away from our desk to take calls) and there were my beauties. Long stemmed red roses. I teared up, my sweet friend (whom i will call Swooper, its our nick name for each other) came to my desk and let me cry on her. She gave me reassuring words (she is so smart and has such nice kind words to say all the time) she even hugged me and we are not huggers. It was nice to have someone to convey my feelings too. There were 3 people who came up to me and said what a nice husband. How kind. Everyone else wanted to know what my husband had done to have to send me flowers. Of those people some asked how i was going to reward him for sending flowers. I was and still am highly offended. I know i choose to be offended. I choose to have those feelings. But seriously, what is going on in their lives? Why is that the first assumption? He did nothing, I did nothing, he was showing his love for me.

Which brings me to another small point that annoys me. Why do women today feel like they have to be a man? To be the number one? I am a believer in being a strong woman, smart and having my own thoughts, playing on my strengths. I also believe that a man should be a man. The hero of my girls and my sons. It teaches them how to be treated as they grow older. My goal as a mother in the Gospel of Jesus Christ is to teach my daughters of the joy of motherhood, being an amazing wife, friend and lover to her spouse, to be smart and gain as much education as they can in whatever way possible. My goal is to teach my sons to be strong priesthood holders, be amazing husbands, friends and lovers to their spouse and to gain an education to support their family in whatever way they find works for them. Will they all be college educated? Probably not. But they will find what they are good at and work their behinds off to support their families.

I have a sincere struggle with the convoluted idea today of gender rolls. Men are men and women are women. I am a firm believer in that. You may not agree with me, but that is ok. I am used to being called homophobic, bigoted..whatever you want. I know that in my heart i love those who are Heavenly Fathers children. I may not agree with you, but i can love you and appreciate your point of view. Agree to disagree is ok. I just hope there are those who can still love me no matter what my ideas are as well. Also teaching discipline to our children is most important. Number one being that disappointment happens. Figure it out. You cant have everything you want, I dont. Money is important but its more important to have some than spend it. Get out of debt and stay there. Most of all figure out your life cause you are moving out someday before you are 20. Nothing in life is free and most normal people work for everything they have. So go get a job. Find a way to earn what you want. I love my children enough to teach them that life is hard, but worth it.

Enough ENOUGH....my children packed my bag and sent me on a weekend away with my husband the same weekend he sent me flowers. We got to go away for an evening to a hotel, stayed up and watched Food Network, watched the first snow of the season. The next day we went to see the new Star Wars movie and did some Christmas shopping. It was a glorious weekend. It was something we needed. We spent a lot of time talking about the future, life over the next year, job opportunities any thing we could think of. What a refreshing time. We reconnected and restarted for the new year. How did we get such glorious children, I do not know, but we did. They are amazing. It is a pleasure to have them be ours.

At my employment i attempted to move up a bit and was denied. Not really for a valid reason that i can see. That is fine, deny me but do not tell me i will not be good at anything i endeavor to do because you do not like the way i talk. I lived in Maine for a good majority of my life, i generally say it how it is. I have learned over the past while to be softer and kinder, but at the end of the interview i was told "you will never make it in HR the way you are". Now this was from 2 people whom I find very....I have no words. I know they are learning and working to be better, but seriously why would you say that to someone right after telling that person "you are the best biller i have" "you are amazing at your work"...frustrating. I decided that day it was time for me to find a way out of that job. I have, more info on the new job coming soon.

I know i have blathered on and on but eh its my blog dont read it if you dont want too. I was looking at how many people read my blog and i am still surprised that so many people read this. I hope in some way you are finding something interesting. I know though, that my life has gained a purpose that i never knew it had. That I have found joy that i cannot explain to anyone. That my life is mine and i will not apologize for it. WE have created a wonderful home, with love, joy, happiness everything i have ever wanted and i love it....I LOVE IT!!!!

Dictionary, 19, Temple (with Axel mixed in)

Its been a while, why you ask? I have no clue. I have to say that I have been working hard at looking for new employment. My goal has always to be in Human Resources. Its going to take a while to get there but in the mean time I am working hard at looking, putting in applications, trying to get noticed. I knew it was going to be a difficult road but it is more disconcerting than difficult. I have found someone who is guiding me through the process which is nice. She is an amazing lady who is supportive, straightforward and kind. She understands me and my values which is even better. So that is that....now we wait.

There has been so much going on in the last few months. I have been having so much fun with Axel, he is an absolute joy in our life. This summer has been one that has been a trial of our marriage, but we found a way through the trial. It is not something I want to talk about, nor will I, but needless to say, we are stronger than ever. There is a time in marriage when you go back to where you were in the beginning, that is where we are. I cant wait to get home to see him, to be with him. I love to be with him, in the front room holding hands, in our room just talking with the door closed and no kids around, in the car just driving, over texting when we an say anything. Its a new freedom I have never had. Not sure why I have never had it but there it is. A good man said to us that we would make it through not matter what as long as we had the Lord in our lives and we do.

Onto our life over the past few months.

One of the funny things that happened is Brenda came and asked for the dictionary that we have used in the house forever. So Shane bestowed it upon her and she can now take it home and utilize it. It was a fun moment. This is the same dictionary she had to copy words out of when she got them wrong on her spelling tests (all the kids did). And away it goes. 

Makayla turned 19 we had a great time to have everyone together. I love it when the kids come together makes life fun.

Axel had his first big boy food on Makaylas birthday dinner. 

there is always one kid who makes a face, I will let you decide

Cant ever get a normal one, except for  Skyler he always treats me right!

Jake likes to play with my phone. Sometimes we play together I figure its a good way to show his funny faces, most people don't see this side of Jake. He is generally very somber around people. Jake is funny, he is a sarcastic person, he always has a comeback. He makes everyone laugh and brings joy to everyone. At the same time he still comes to lay down by me to talk to me softly at night and tell me he loves me. He is always one to hug me (they all are). 

WARNING: OBLIGATORY CUTNESS COMING

I call him Sweet Bub most of the time, not sure he will know what his name is when he sees me. He makes life happy. 

There has been much joy in our life, I have noticed the more Shane and I concentrate on each other the better our family is. Having Axel has been a blessing, so much so that I cannot even express. Shane and I have been working on each other more and it has created more joy with in our home. Our children are closer and happier together. Sure there are struggles, trials but small steps come with that. How well the Savior knows us and our challenges. He certainly guides us through the hard times as well as the good times. 

I had the opportunity to work at the Meridian Temple open house in the parking lot helping to keep the traffic under control. Being on the grounds of the temple once a week gave me a pleasure that I cannot describe. I knew before hand that President Uchdorff was coming to do the dedication. I was excited to be a part of the glory surrounding the House of the Lord. 

Surprisingly our family was given tickets to be inside the temple on the day of the dedication. I had been on the temple grounds for a full month and never gone on the tours, had not been inside, my children had worked on the temple grounds as well and had not been inside either. We all got to go inside to hear 2 apostles speak and dedicate the House of the Lord. What a treasure to be there with them. It made the trials of the year seem so insignificant, so small. We had over come and become stronger and better. Standing in line that day I took this photo above, our family together, our family for eternity. We have created these children who are amazing. They are all teenagers now, I cannot believe they are all old enough to take care of themselves. 2 of them are making great decisions in their life that are guiding them forward. Do they struggle? sure they do, but they come and talk to us, to each other and find support. They are all strong, in spirit, in physicality, in mind. Somehow they have become amazing, I wonder how Shane and I did that, with all of our flaws. My love of the Gospel has brought me to this place, this time in my life. I couldn't be more blessed and grateful.