Mostly My Opinion

I have to tell you about on of the most glorious weekends of my married life. Happened a few weeks ago. Shane surprised me with flowers at work. They were so beautiful. I was having a particularly difficult day. (Work is another story in itself at this moment but i will come to that later) It was getting close to the anniversary of my mums death and I dont think i was handling life very well. Sometimes that happens you know, things just pile on and before you realize it BAM!!! you are crying at your desk and you want to strangle the next person who talks to you. So when I feel that way I know its time to just sit at my desk quietly, put my head down and work.

Now what comes next will tell you a bit of why I am leaving my current employment onto other places (if you work with me and are just finding this out I am sorry but it is what it is). The flowers were delivered in the midst of us changing cell phone carriers and so our phones were all on the fitz. I was trying to get a hold of Shane for some moral support, he called me back and was so sweet to me. I came in from the call (we have to walk away from our desk to take calls) and there were my beauties. Long stemmed red roses. I teared up, my sweet friend (whom i will call Swooper, its our nick name for each other) came to my desk and let me cry on her. She gave me reassuring words (she is so smart and has such nice kind words to say all the time) she even hugged me and we are not huggers. It was nice to have someone to convey my feelings too. There were 3 people who came up to me and said what a nice husband. How kind. Everyone else wanted to know what my husband had done to have to send me flowers. Of those people some asked how i was going to reward him for sending flowers. I was and still am highly offended. I know i choose to be offended. I choose to have those feelings. But seriously, what is going on in their lives? Why is that the first assumption? He did nothing, I did nothing, he was showing his love for me.

Which brings me to another small point that annoys me. Why do women today feel like they have to be a man? To be the number one? I am a believer in being a strong woman, smart and having my own thoughts, playing on my strengths. I also believe that a man should be a man. The hero of my girls and my sons. It teaches them how to be treated as they grow older. My goal as a mother in the Gospel of Jesus Christ is to teach my daughters of the joy of motherhood, being an amazing wife, friend and lover to her spouse, to be smart and gain as much education as they can in whatever way possible. My goal is to teach my sons to be strong priesthood holders, be amazing husbands, friends and lovers to their spouse and to gain an education to support their family in whatever way they find works for them. Will they all be college educated? Probably not. But they will find what they are good at and work their behinds off to support their families.

I have a sincere struggle with the convoluted idea today of gender rolls. Men are men and women are women. I am a firm believer in that. You may not agree with me, but that is ok. I am used to being called homophobic, bigoted..whatever you want. I know that in my heart i love those who are Heavenly Fathers children. I may not agree with you, but i can love you and appreciate your point of view. Agree to disagree is ok. I just hope there are those who can still love me no matter what my ideas are as well. Also teaching discipline to our children is most important. Number one being that disappointment happens. Figure it out. You cant have everything you want, I dont. Money is important but its more important to have some than spend it. Get out of debt and stay there. Most of all figure out your life cause you are moving out someday before you are 20. Nothing in life is free and most normal people work for everything they have. So go get a job. Find a way to earn what you want. I love my children enough to teach them that life is hard, but worth it.

Enough ENOUGH....my children packed my bag and sent me on a weekend away with my husband the same weekend he sent me flowers. We got to go away for an evening to a hotel, stayed up and watched Food Network, watched the first snow of the season. The next day we went to see the new Star Wars movie and did some Christmas shopping. It was a glorious weekend. It was something we needed. We spent a lot of time talking about the future, life over the next year, job opportunities any thing we could think of. What a refreshing time. We reconnected and restarted for the new year. How did we get such glorious children, I do not know, but we did. They are amazing. It is a pleasure to have them be ours.

At my employment i attempted to move up a bit and was denied. Not really for a valid reason that i can see. That is fine, deny me but do not tell me i will not be good at anything i endeavor to do because you do not like the way i talk. I lived in Maine for a good majority of my life, i generally say it how it is. I have learned over the past while to be softer and kinder, but at the end of the interview i was told "you will never make it in HR the way you are". Now this was from 2 people whom I find very....I have no words. I know they are learning and working to be better, but seriously why would you say that to someone right after telling that person "you are the best biller i have" "you are amazing at your work"...frustrating. I decided that day it was time for me to find a way out of that job. I have, more info on the new job coming soon.

I know i have blathered on and on but eh its my blog dont read it if you dont want too. I was looking at how many people read my blog and i am still surprised that so many people read this. I hope in some way you are finding something interesting. I know though, that my life has gained a purpose that i never knew it had. That I have found joy that i cannot explain to anyone. That my life is mine and i will not apologize for it. WE have created a wonderful home, with love, joy, happiness everything i have ever wanted and i love it....I LOVE IT!!!!