Presidents, Talks and Foos

So there is some interesting news in our life lately, 2 Sundays ago I got a new calling...Not too sure about it...or if I will do it justice...A calling is when the Bishop of the ward requests you to do something particular. Some people are teachers, some are create activities for everyone, some are greeters, there all kinds of "jobs" to do. In the Latter-day Saint church we have a woman who is over all of the Young Women in the ward ages 12-18ish. She has a couple of other women who help her and teaches the girls the joy of life and how to honor womanhood and become the best they can. Well apparently I am that leader. The Bishop asked me in about a paragraph or less to be the Young Womens President. I personally do not feel that I have much to give these girls, BUT i have to say they are some pretty cool girls. We met Sunday and they seem to really have a ton of great personalities. 

At the same time I was asked to give a talk. Nothing like being pulled in 2 directions....Its been quite a ride for the last 2 weeks. I am wondering what i have to teach these girls. I have been put in a strange position of responsibility and if you know me, you know I dont care much about that. I have some strong feelings about how things should be taught. I believe in open honesty and it may rub people the wrong way, we have such a chore working with the teens of today. They think we dont know what they are going through, or if they hide we will never know...I can see through all of the garbage. Mostly because I lived through that trash, I have been down out, ready to leave this world, I have been in a place where i felt so worthless I didnt think I could come back. 

Speaking of which I gave a talk on Sunday about feelings of worth, understanding love, and finding joy when in the depths of despair. About finding your path when you feel so worthless and knwoing that the Lord will guide you if you ask...if you just take the time to ask. It was one of the hardest talks I have ever given (glad I gave it when my parents were gone). There were many tears from me trying to make it through. I think my girls learned something new about me, my YW learned something about this weird lady and others who dont know me found out some information I did not want to give out. 

I am at a good place right now, its a hard place and i am tired. I dont know what direction to take yet. I am not sure I can make the best decisions. I am humbled to have been given such a charge. 

Shane at the same time, has been called as the Elders Quorum President. First question I wondered about was whether or not the beard would come off. The Stake President asked him if he would be a better EQ Pres without the beard. Shane stated he would do what the President asked of him. I think in that moment he really would have shaved if asked. Shane stated President I will follow you to the ends of the earth, do what you ask, and be devoted to the men i serve. President Lewis did not ask him to shave, he asked Shane to do his job. He gave Shane a charge to find for himself if it needed to come off. It is still there as of today...and I imagine for a while...There is much work to be done here. It is a ward in need of a bit of a push...i suppose a Shane Henrie push...those men better get ready.

It has been an exciting week or 2. Things are hard and will be even harder but I am thinking it may be good for us. By the way, i like to add in lyric from songs into my talks, this is the song i took from this time.  Video at the bottom of the lyrics. Somehow we all have to learn to walk again, find the signal that will get us where we need to be. We all have to do this over and over to make life work....

A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return

Learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin?

Do you remember the days?
We built these paper mountains
Then sat and watched them burn
I think I found my place
Can't you feel it growing stronger
Little conquerors

Learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Now, 
For the very first time
Don't you pay no mind
Set me free, again
To keep alive, a moment at a time
That's still inside, a whisper to a riot
The sacrifice, the knowing to survive
The first decline, another state of mind
I'm on my knees, I'm praying for a sign
Forever, whenever, I never wanna die

I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I'm on my knees, I never wanna die
I'm dancing on my grave
I'm running through the fire
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna leave
I'll never say goodbye
Forever, whenever
Forever, whenever