Rules, Learning, Death

Some interesting things have been happening around our house over the last month. Many laughs which have come out of nowhere. It always interests me that sometimes church people cant talk about sex with their children, let alone with a group of people. I was sitting in a class a few weeks ago and the discussion turned to sex, fornication, whatever and how it is important to talk to your kids about it. The ridiculousness of the class was that for more than a half an hour nobody said either of those words, not even sexual relations..nothing. Here we are a group of grown adults and we cant say "Hey we really need to be talking to our children about Pre marital sex and its consequences." But no...someone had to say I tell my children to "bridle their passions." What the hell does that mean? I mean when you say bridle to me I think Whips and Chains. (insert laugh here...my friend Cindy and I laughed a lot at this one). Also that brings me to the fact that Whips and Chains and sadomasochistic behavior is popular as well. I was so frustrated that we couldnt say it in a room of adults. I think this is a big thing wrong with our society today. There is no discussion with our children of the hard facts of life. You dont have to be graphic but damned people, talk to your children and dont be afraid of it. This is why and how we get rampant sexual diseases among our children or babies that dont have families to lean on. There is no discussion of protection or abstinence, because we are too embarrassed to talk about sex. Stupid really. This is why we have always been open with our children. Some say too open...thats for another time.

Ok all that being said on to the funny part...On the same day my children were having discussions with some of the Bishopric (these are 3 men who lead our congregation) They divided up the age groups 12-13, 14-15, 16-18. John was in one of those meetings and the discussion came back to sex and how important it is to understand chastity etc....needless to say no use of the word sex or fornication or abstinence nothing, a boy then says my dad says i should bridle my passions....John who is super smart then is completely confused. He is the kind of kid you have to be straight with and not beat around the bush or it doesnt make sense. So John gets frustrated and says "Basically it comes down to 3 rules: 1. Dont play with your pecker 2. Dont put your pecker in someone 3. Find something constructive to do to use your time." So the teacher of the class was a bit taken aback and didnt really know what to say. So he comes home and tells us what happened and we have to discuss what to say and when to say what. Oh and he asked what bridle your passions meant "is that putting on a horse bridle and walking around cause that is stupid" Yes he said that....

now who can tell that cute face to be careful? Well i can, at the same time i am glad he knows what to do. I am glad he has some strong convictions. 

so to Family Home Evening talking about words and how important they are. Also discussing the questions the kids come up with. Often times their questions are so profound. Our latest discussions have been around sexual activity, marriage, gay/lesbian understanding, using the scriptures to guide us, and work. They have been so interested in to many different things lately. It has been a joy to watch. 

Death comes to us all over the last few weeks we have been very close to death. My father in law, the kids grandfather died in his home, on August 10th. The week before was a hard week as he had been in the hospital and my hubby had to go and make some hard decisions about how to help his father. It is probably one of the toughest things I could  imagine doing. I have to say I am grateful my father and step mom are well planned and have a plan. My in laws did not have a plan, let alone money to bury one of them. I have planned a funeral before and been a part of it. Somehow i became a calm voice in the storm of this funeral. It was a nice thing to be able to help. But over the last week it has become a very difficult process for everyone involved. There has been a lack of sleep, food, tolerance and patience. I finally broke down and requested some meals from some of the church ladies, they have been fabulous. Our family has had great discussions about death and what it means and how to cope. My kids are pretty great, i am grateful for them. I am grateful for Brenda and most of all Skyler joining and being a part of our family. He brings a calm to Brenda and everyone he is around. It has been a pleasure to see my children rally around each other and their dad through this. 

My children spent their last few days before school started cleaning out sheds, bringing everything to our house, sorting and helping their dad create a HUGE yard sale. Well at our house we call them Man Sales. It has been rather warm her in the 90's (F) so the option is to get up almost before the sun comes up to go with dad before the day gets too hot. So my 4 kiddos get up around 430am go with dad and work until 10 or 11. Then we have a bit of rest time and then its cleaning and sorting. I am amazed at my children and the work they do. Do they like it? I am sure not, BUT they have all said to me this gives them reason to be prepare in life. They each have told me in one way or another about how this service to their grandmother is teaching them good lessons on life. My children have always struggled with their grandfather. He was a hard man, tough and often very difficult to deal with. I am not sure they ever saw any of this gentle side. The boys always got the brunt of it as well as he liked to play and sometimes would hurt them not being aware. It is a struggle for them to feel compassion towards that kind of person, but i think they have compassion for their father and all that he has lived through. My boys find strength in watching their dad overcome and become a great father. 

I guess what I mean is you have the choice to change your family. You have the ability to make life easier or harder for your children. You choose to follow in the footsteps of anger, frustration whatever it is or become a compassionate kind loving person. Life isnt always an easy road but you choose to make it what you want. I think this is what i am instilling in my kids through this. That makes me wonder about others, does wallowing in self pity really make for a good life? Or wishing for more? Probably not, i find myself doing it sometimes and then am brought back to reality. Reality that I choose to be happy, loved, enjoy, whatever it is...its better than being miserable.