My Mothers Day spiel

Its close to Mothers Day. I think of friends and family every year who struggle with this day. For those who struggle with this day I am with you. I have found some solace over the years as my children have come along and have grown up. Some people are struggling with the loss of a parent in different ways. One of my sweet friends is dealing with her mother slowly fading away to dementia, another friends mother died quite a few years ago and her loss is more than she can deal with some times, another friend has had a child that died as well as her mother and is feeling an insurmountable loss that cannot be filled, another friend cannot have children and feels the sorrow of not being a mother, yet another friend has a child who will no longer speak to her and its devastating to her....I suppose what i mean is that for some, mothers day is not a fabulous day.

How do we move forward, how do we find joy in mothers day when some of us struggle so much? As women we feel so much...we FEEL down deep to the edges of our souls. Our bodies are so profoundly affected by what we feel that we have to be careful to not allow it to TAKE over us. We need to find a boundary where we can find Joy in Motherhood (no matter how it comes).

I have to say as i look around at these wonderful women whom i spoke about earlier, they have all in some way found a way to reach out to me. Over the last 6 months I have struggled with some medical issues, as well as my other issues. Each one of the women i described earlier have in one way or another stepped out of their comfort zone and reached out to me to support me. I know they all think they are stuck in their situation, they may not even know they have affected me. They all have pulled me through the last 6 months. I think that is so commendable. Its so motherly, at a time when i needed mothering.

I suppose my idea of mothering has changed a bit over the years. I have found mothers in all of my girlfriends. I have found some solace in trying to be a friend/mother to others. Mothering is bieng loving, kind, charitable, understanding (even when i do not understand), having a listening ear (even when i am tired and overwhelmed) Giving of myself to others so I can bring their spirits up. It is sometimes difficult, but i have made an effort to be that way for others.

So to those Ladies who are out there who read this and are mothers to me...I love you. To my mothers sisters, L1, L2 and Susan I love you, I miss you, I am grateful to have a mother in you. For Margaret and Iris, i am grateful to have mothers in you, i miss you both, and have huge respect and love for you both. My cousins who reacts to my posts and make me smile, my heart is full.

To my fathers family, my love grows every year for the strength that came from your mother. I think of my Grammy Fernald often and remember her laugh and her ability to bring family together. My cousins who I know are there, Andreas photos make me long for home, but i know her love is there. Mari's sweet posts always make me smile.

My sweet adopted Mommy, she knows who she is, i cannot even put into words how i love her and her kindness. My attachment to her, is an attachment to my mother. I love her, she is an amazing woman with the heart of a saint.

To Sally who is a great step mother. Boy she didnt know what she was getting but her support and kindness through the years has helped me become a better mother.

My sisters are just as amazing (including my sisters in law and step sisters), they all give me support from afar. I am grateful that I have been so blessed to have such strong women in my life. I am more grateful that even though we are all so far apart we all have love and respect for each other that when something goes amiss we can call on one another.

I suppose what i am saying is that Mothers are everywhere, no matter where you are in your life, no matter how much you hurt, how deep your sorrow is, look around, take a moment.....LOOK...i bet you can find mothers everywhere who will take care of you. So throw it out there if you need it, if you need me, i am willing to step out of my comfort zone and be your friend/mother. I am willing to step out of my zone and love, support, guide, listen, understand, feel...whatever you need.

Do i miss my mother? Sure do, but i want to do what she would expect me to do...be a mother. I am sure there are so many other ladies out there who I didnt recognize by name, I try not to use names too much, but know that i am thinking about you. You are reading this because you know me and have touched my life, thank you for touching my life and helping me. I am trying to make this year better, to be stronger. I am trying to not feel so much that it disables me, but to have some area in my soul where i grieve still but dont let it take over. I want to use those feelings for good.

Going into the next year i will become a grandmother, will my thoughts on mothering change again? Maybe, in the mean time i will work on becoming better and not so consumed with me and focus on others....so if you think of me feel free to send me a message, i will probably need it a pick me up. To the others if you need me, let me know. Or you may receive a random message from me.

Happy Mothers Day to all the women who read this, you are all mothers.