Fluff, Tuna, Bread, Cereal

Sometimes you just hope for a respite from all that is going on in life. Sometimes that respite does not come and it can be frustrating. Trying to be happy through it is the most frustrating part. What is happiness anyway? What do you do to find that joy? For me there are times when it is easier than others. I know I say a lot about finding it but really do you?

The day to day can be somewhat mundane and frustrating at times. I get up go to work, attempt to make a difference in someones life (anyone or at least make someone smile that day) and then I come home to kids who i still try to attempt to make them smile and love life. Man it can be frustrating. I see others and wonder what makes them happy, why do they get to go on trips, have a new car (that doesnt need the heat on so it doesnt overheat ok in winter not so much in summer), or nice clothes ( i have found of late i want to buy a lot of socks? I have no idea why just want some new ones?) I often ask myself what have i done wrong as a parent that I cannot give my kids the awesome stuff, new computers, cell phones, cars, clothes, whatever crap i guess....then i remember... they dont NEED it, its stuff i WANT them to have. In reality driving the car (with the heater problem which will be resolved soon) and wearing the old socks, and not having a brand new computer or snazzy stuff makes us a better family. I am sometimes not sure how but then something happens and the respite comes in the form of a surprise....and an awesome one at that...

My girls Young Womens leader was going to pick up her daughter from her mission...in New Jersey of all places. She asked my daughters what they missed the most about Maine they said Fluff...they couldnt explain the pleasure and joy of Fluff, but they said if you happen to find some just bring us one jar and we will pay you back when you come home. Last night Makayla came home with a bag full of Fluff...oh what joy was to be had in our house....

Fluff is a Marshmallow Creme type of treat for my kids. In Maine you can buy it in bigger containers (probably in all of New England). The kids just had fork fulls of it with a bit of peanut butter...They remember as little ones I used to give them a bit of Fluff on graham crackers for a treat. My favorite is a thick layer of Fluff and some peanut butter on crappy cheap white bread from the store!!! It is like joy in my mouth. 

Look at those faces! A bit of Fluff and they dont care about the car, electronics, stuff...they care about the memories that came, they care about the woman who remembered them when they thought no one understood them. 

A few weeks ago a friend at work cleared her cupboard and gave me some things. In the box was tuna, 6 cans of tuna. There was also Spaghettioes (no name and name brand) Canned corn and a few odds and ends. Just things she thought I could use. I walked through the door with tuna and my kids lit up like Christmas trees. Who do you know that gets excited over tuna? They were so grateful prayers were said in thanks as well as a batch of Jakes brownies in return. (My friend by the way will not eat any other brownies than Jakes now... and she usually buys the Ghirridelli ones!) Another person randomly leaves different types of bread on my desk, another leaves cereal randomly. The gratefulness that my children have for these women whom they do not even know is heart warming to me. Sure its food...everyone loves food....but its the fact that these people, without knowing are teaching my children compassion, love and service is humbling to me. The kids always want to return the favor...oh brownies are always accepted at work (seriously Jake does some magic with those brownies) but I know that the women at work expect nothing in return except the stories of joy i pass along of my kids response to cereal, tuna, and bread. 

Sitting here at the end of a day when I am particularly annoyed and am glad to be sitting alone in the dark, listening to Jake and my hubs snore....I have to remember what I am grateful for and thank my Heavenly Father and stop being a grumpy old lady. I have to put aside my want for things and see what has been given to me. I have been given much, I too will give as much as I can. I think of the things I miss this time of year and for one of the first years in a while I have not cried much...some sort of peace is entering my soul and I am glad for it....

In the mean time I have been listening to some bluegrass music lately and I came across this one...not quite down and dirty bluegrass but close enough...

So what about you is there a respite that has come into your life and did you have to take a minute to recognize it? I certainly did...Shame on me for not being more grateful for the joy in my children, i need to work on that kind of joy...