Things in our house are calming down. I am so happy about it. I have noticed that my kids are awesome for a while then there is a day when they all sleep. John is always the trigger. He got up at his regular time this morning between 530 and 6 am, went to the bathroom and promptly went back to bed. He NEVER does that. Usually he is up reading or surfing the web about monsters or the next funny movie coming out (BTW Angry Birds is going to be a movie?). I had been battling illness since Friday night so i was in and out all night. He went back to bed I thought, this isnt good. The only good thing we have going for us today is that it is a 5th Sunday and so no meetings for Shane and I. I decided around 8ish to get up and make some pancakes and eggs. I got everyone up to eat together and the silliness ensued. Although on my kids face i could tell they all wanted to be back in bed.
Jake is full of sarcasm and the New England dry (as a bone) humor. That kid can make anyone laugh at any time. He is the comic relief we need in this house. He had us all laughing at breakfast. As we got ready for church John was first to go down, he went to lay down and out he went. He also has a cough that is starting and it always wipes him out for a day or so. Brenda doesnt go to church until 1 but she was back in bed, Laura started dragging, and Makayla was not looking good either. I wondered how it was going to go....off to church we went leaving John asleep.
Before Sacrament meeting even started I looked at Makayla and realized she has a ear ache and a small headache. I massaged her ears and helped the pressure in her ears, but then the organ started and she was out for the count. Laura at the same time started to tear up and I realized that her head must be pounding and she was just struggling. Laura has some issues with her body and often those issues really just require her to sleep, a lot. Sometimes in a dark room, just rest with no stimulation. So Makayla and Laura headed home. Not more than 5 mins later I got released from Young Womens. I am not sure how my Young Women feel about that but it was needed.
I have known for about 3 weeks that i was getting released. When Shane was called to be the Elders Quorum we knew it would be a lot for me to take on. Bishop spoke to me and told me that he felt for a while i needed to be more focused on the children. I agreed. It has been a difficult time over the last month. I love being with the youth but i have to focus on my children right now. Shane has been so busy with the Elders that Mom needs to be home. I hope my girls are not too upset but a change is needed. I have some wonderful ladies who help me out and i am sad to not be with them as often. I feel relief in a lot of ways. I am grateful for the chance i have had to serve but really need to move on.
Shane, Jake and I left after sacrament and came home to be with the children. Makayla and John had ice on, Laura was sleeping, Brenda was gone. We just hunkered down got the fire going and some food for the kids. I laid down on the couch and was out. I have been so tired, this illness has wiped me out. I slept for a bit and got up everyone was at the table eating. We had Jake again making us all laugh, but then back to bed they went. I ate but it promptly decided it did not want to stay within my body so there is that.
All of this makes me wonder do others have it better than I? What am I doing that makes this so damned hard? I suppose everything is perception. My lead at work states that to me all the time. I suppose i perceive others the way i imagine and that cannot be good. I am hoping the calm can continue for a while. I am tired and worn out. My life could be better I suppose but how much better? I will never be a millionaire, probably will only ever have just enough. But with planning will be able to go and do fun things. Maybe i whine too much, and need to refocus on what it is that i have. I figure everyone goes through this. We all must have these times in our life?? What do you do to combat the feelings like this?
For now i am going to ride on this....just for a while....
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