Easter, Messiah

Sometimes i sit in church and try really really hard to feel. Sometimes it happens sometimes not. It is a hard thing to feel. I have found in my life wonderful friends who have taught me the depth of feeling.

I depend on the Lord a lot to guide me through life. I am always working on my closeness with Him. It is a hard task. I find myself lost often when i should really be focusing on me. Not sure what kind of sense that makes but most of you who know me will get it. 

Today is Easter. I have done something different this year...there is no candy in our house. Oh worry not i have not deprived them it will come tomorrow (half off you know). Mostly though i really wanted to focus on Christ. Christ should be the center of our family today.

We have a wonderful opportunity to go see a production of Handels Messiah today. I am excited. I am going with a couple of the kids. It will be the first time i have ever seen it straight through. Sometimes when i am really down i listen to the Hallelujah Chorus to bring my spirit up.

For some Easter is just another day. For me its a  symbol of rebirth. Of joy in Gods creations, of finding myself again, of focusing on the things that really matter. I know many who have no religion and still do all of the things i try to do. My sister is a prime example to me. She takes the time to run, hike, be a mother, a campaigner, a support for her community. She is someone i want to be like. I know she has had her trials and probably still does, but i am grateful for her example. 

You know all of my siblings have been examples to my children of the beauty of the world. Even though none of them go to church they have never been rude to me about our choice to raise our children that way. If anything they have encouraged my children to depend on their faith to make it through the hard times. I am so blessed to have all of my siblings in my life. My sisters, all of them, have taught my girls to be strong women, and grow to become fabulous people in the world. My brothers have taken time to show example as well. Being good fathers, brothers and people. I am truly blessed in this time of my life. 

Just need to work on the ability to express those feels.....