Greatness of women, Pocket knife

I was thinking today about how much anxiety i get by being in crowds of people. I think I have learned how to mask the craziness i feel from it but sometimes it is more than i can take. I realized today that I am not the only one. I have some great friends who completely understand my anxiousness and do not make me move when i cannot. It is nice to sometimes have someone to talk to when i am in those moments. Shout out to my sweet church ladies who told me to be still and not worry about it. 

Funny i found myself just a while later talking to one of my daughters about the same thing. She is thinking about her life and where she wants to be...that is scary the thoughts racing through her mind are overwhelming. I get it. I was thinking back to when i decided to have children. It was a tough thing for me. Well not too hard to get pregnant apparently there is NOT a problem with that, but just the thought process of having any children was hard. I knew I was not going to be that great at it and would have to work really hard at becoming a good parent. I said this to my girl, mothering is hard but if you live close you can have a lot of support. Even so the beauty of the LDS Church is that sometimes support is built in. Sometimes it is not. Reality is that you make your own family group that helps you when you need it. YOU find what is needed when you cannot take one more step, or dont have enough sleep or your spouse isnt home. 

At church today we talked about the greatness of women. How we contribute to so much more than we think. One quote that got me was this one: We need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families...women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends of the world and detect those that..are shallow or dangerous. (this is 2 quotes combined but hey its my blog right?) The particular man giving this talk is one of the top heart surgeons in the world. He spoke about how his wife is the one who encouraged him to keep going when he had lost 3 children from one family to a heart malformation he could not correct. We as women are amazing creatures. 

My husband has told me from day one how wonderful i am, how beautiful i am...no matter my size (which at this point is not great) no matter how pregnant, or sick, or happy...DOES NOT matter....He came home the other day to tell me he had spoken to a friend whom i really respect and she admonished Shane to really work on teaching me to love myself more. He told her he has done that since forever, but i never believe it. Little does he know that i do, I know my worth to him is great. I am important. I am still working on it everyday little by little, it takes time. 

I have been working really hard to make sure my kids feel the same way about themselves. Our way is not conventional by any means but it works. I try to tell the kids all the time to keep going. Sometimes you just need a bit of courage to do it and sometimes just a kick in the pants. Either way finding yourself worth is important and being a mother has taught me to work harder at it.

On a much different note our house is always full of things going on. I noticed the other day how John is being a punk. I think its the 13 year old boy in him but he has a good dad who will work on it with him. He is now working on his Eagle Scout project. He is achieving so much with all that he is doing. I will write more about it when we get things more under control. Jake is worried about Brenda leaving and not being around as much they are buddies. She has made great efforts to make it be an easy transition for him, but it is still hard. Jake really likes Skyler...he even had a pocket knife today just like Skylers

See the  pocket where the knife is attached. Skyler has one like that all of the time. Makes me chuckle but he really likes Skyler and its a sure sign that everything is going to be ok. Laura has a job for the summer which is great. She is working at a Sno-cone shack my sweet friend runs. I am glad that she has that chance to work with the public. My friend is so kind to work with Laura. Laura loves it and really wants to earn money. She isnt a fast food girl. She is doing wonders. I am grateful for her reaching beyond what makes her very uncomfortable to try and find a balance. 

Wedding in 2 weeks and that will be exciting...photos to come on that.....think about you though, what about you, how are you doing? If you are reading this think about what is important and what makes you who you are and how to do you overcome the tough stuff....