King size beds, morning, Temple

At my new job there is autonomy to do whatever i can get done. It is a great feeling to come into work and not feel the pressure. I am actually enjoying my time. I am right now sitting at my desk on lunch and wanting to get the crazy out of my head.

My sweet friends are a few desks away and are coming by to check on me. I am so grateful for them giving my name a go to the boss! My heart is full of appreciation for them. I love the fact that they have faith in me. It is a nice thing, one believing in you. As i have stated before my anxiety can take a hold and then depression takes over so its nice to have people around to encourage when they are not aware that is happening. I am grateful for them. This office calm and I enjoy that. I know its my first full week here but its a nice atmosphere.

I think this time around i am really grateful for my kids. For the last month i have been getting the kids up at 6am to read scriptures. They all have a day they have to do it and have prayer. I dont care what they read or what they want to talk about but they have to be awake and responsive. This usually ends up in farting contests between my boys and then the girls join in. Brenda has been on her own so she is not involved as much anymore and that is ok. This time in the morning has been pretty great for us. It starts our day out and helps us all connect together. They can tell me concerns in my big bed. I think that is my favorite part. I now have a huge king size bed and they all climb in and hang out with me for about 10-15 mins. I love it. They are big but they are all there. The dog comes and joins (on the floor no dogs on my bed). I have found that the connection made between them is a bit stronger every morning. Granted some mornings are harder than they really should be but it makes for a nice start to the day.

Brenda went for her endowments the other day. It was really great to have her be with me in the temple. I never thought that would actually happen. Looking across the room and seeing Shane there with Skyler made everything that much better. My sweet friend Melissa was there as well. What a great feeling to just have it small and close. I felt like I have done something right, I feel accomplished in what i had set out to do for her. I sort of feel like i can finally let her go. Let her be with Skyler and start the life they want together. Skyler is great. He has really meshed with the family well. The boys really like him. I am happy about that. I find that he has a way with Brenda that is so calming and effective. I am blessed really.

 This last week is tough there is a lot going on, but there is a sense of peace abounding in my life. Dont get me wrong I am exhausted, i want to sleep, but the place i am is peaceful and calm.